20 Sep Facilitating Peaceful Sibling Interaction

Witnessing the bond between brothers and sisters can be one of the most rewarding experiences as a parent. Siblings play an essential role in each other’s lives. Still, sibling squabbles are bound to happen, and they can quickly turn sour and overshadow all of the precious, more cherishable moments.

As parents, we have the choice to help our children learn healthy conflict resolution and communication skills ‒ but facilitating peaceful sibling interaction can be challenging.

Many of the students at Sugar Mill Montessori have younger or older siblings at home. We hear about how our students interact with their siblings daily, from parents and even the students themselves. Sometimes we even get to see siblings in action, for better or sometimes worse, and the effect that conflict can have on the development and well-being of the children.

How can parents facilitate peaceful sibling interactions and nurture healthier and stronger sibling relationships? Read on to discover more! If you’re interested to learn more about our Montessori school, contact us today.

When & How to Solve a Sibling Fight

It’s quiet, the family dog is asleep, and the afternoon sun is shining. A still calmness envelopes the entire house.

Suddenly, you hear a big shout, followed by the sounds of a loud, piercing cry. The dog abruptly wakes and runs out of bed, and you drop whatever you are doing and run to the playroom.

You arrive on the scene to find one of your children on the floor in tears. Meanwhile, your other child clutches on to a beloved but ever-so-contentious toy.

A fight has broken out ‒ so, what do you do?

Wait & See

As parents, breaking up two fighting siblings is almost instinctual. Conflicts are upsetting. We hate to see our children hurting themselves and each other.

When facilitating peaceful sibling interaction, parents should first take a hands-off approach. By waiting and observing how the disagreement will play out, you allow the children time and space to communicate and resolve the issue independently. We also reduce the likelihood of escalating tensions or causing our children to get irritated with us.

How does the interaction unfold? Where do communication and resolve break down? If one or both children are hurt emotionally or physically, step in calmly.

Mediate

Even if you can identify the aggressor, remain neutral and act as a mediator. Acknowledge both children and hear them out.

You both seem upset. Will you each tell me what happened?

Listen. Avoid blame and taking sides. Remind your children that they’re both heard. Next, move them in the direction of resolution. This is where we teach them healthy conflict resolution and build their awareness of what to do.

It seems like you both wanted to play with that toy. Can we share by taking turns, or find a different toy or activity we can enjoy together?

Take this as an opportunity to channel your children’s communication skills and empathy and build a better sibling relationship. Ask open-ended questions that encourage both children to reflect on the conflict together and rethink their actions. This approach is how we promote peace in and out of the Montessori classroom as teachers, and parents can and should follow suit.

Here are some of the types of questions you could ask:

• How did it make you feel when they took your toy away? / How do you think it made them feel when you took their toy away?
• What could you have done or said differently before taking their toy away? / What could you have done or said differently after they took your toy away?
• Why is it important that we share our toys and take turns with each other?

Children are children, and there is always going to be conflict throughout childhood and adolescence. As parents, what we can do is show our children how to overcome conflict in healthy ways and minimize the frequency and severity of sibling squabbles.

How to Build Strong & Healthy Sibling Relationships

Teaching our children to resolve conflict among each other is only half the battle. Nurturing the bond between siblings is a lifelong challenge. The nature of the sibling relationship can even play out later in life and indicate each individual’s ability to maintain healthy relationships into adulthood.

Luckily, there are lots of ways we can facilitate peaceful sibling interaction and pave the way for a strong and healthy bond.

Encourage Teamwork

Household chores are great opportunities for siblings to practice teamwork. Come up with tasks your children can complete together, like setting the dinner table, picking up the playroom, unloading and sorting groceries, washing fruits and vegetables, or feeding and giving water to the family pet.

You can also come up with projects for the entire family, such as creating a garden, building a treehouse, or completing home science experiments together.

Don’t Compare ‒ Build Mutual Respect

Comparing your children is more likely to build tension and rivalry than nurture healthy sibling relationships. Personality differences are often to blame for sibling squabbles or misbehavior.

Though conflict is inevitable, it’s important for parents to show appreciation for every child’s individuality and how to respect one another. Encourage your children not to talk over one another and to listen to each other. Acknowledge each child’s interests and make it a point to entertain their interests both on an individual level and as a family unit.

The way we as adults talk to one another can also model the type of tone, language, and behavior we want our children to emulate. Don’t put others down. When disagreements arise, demonstrate your ability to listen and respond cordially and respectfully.

Facilitating Peaceful Sibling Interaction for Healthy Development

Here at Sugar Mill Montessori, we want all of our students and families to experience healthy sibling relationships. Facilitating peaceful sibling interaction is something parents will have to face throughout childhood and adolescence ‒ but by following these practices, you can nurture the bond between your children and foster strong relationships that will last a lifetime.

Are you looking to enroll your children in a Montessori school in Sugar Land, TX, or the Greater Houston area? We invite families to reach out to us to schedule a tour or to learn more about our Montessori programs!